Bad Dreams
by TimeLadySong
Summary: Beverly Crusher has a bad dream and need advice for how to deal with it. Will she finally admit her feelings?
1. Consulation-hour with Counselor Troi

**I wrote this one a while ago and just found it. Well, I really like this one and I hope you do as well. R&amp;R. :)  
Disclaimer: I don't owe Star Trek in any way so I just play with the characters and have some fun. :P**

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**Chapter 1**

"Darkness; Nothing but Darkness. How did I get here? Where am I? Should I shout out for help? Was someone here with me? Was I in danger?   
I had no answer to for even one of these questions. The last thing I remembered was that I and an away team – consisting of Captain Picard, Data, Worf and me – went on a planet in order to help the people on it. They had sent a distress signal to us and asked for our help. There could have been injured why the Captain put me into the team. Worf… Data… Jean-Luc… Jean-Luc... Where was he? Was he alright? I wouldn't forgive myself if he wasn't alright of even worse if he was… if he was dead. It was silly to reproach myself like that because it wouldn't have been my fault. Anyway, I didn't get over making these reproaches.

Steps. Suddenly I could hear steps. Who came there? This darkness was awful. I felt so helpless. When my visitor reached me I could make out the outlines. I suspected it was a Reman. He hold something in his hand, I wasn't able to see exactly what it was. 'Let this be a lesson to you', the person sag and threw the thing he held in his hand over to me. It fell right into my lap and suddenly I could feel something warm and wet: blood. I touched the thing in my lap: it was a head. When I realized whose head it was, my screams began. 'Nooooooooo!' In my hands the lifeless head of Captain Jean-Luc Picard."

A shudder runs down my spine as I speak about my dream. It is the third night, now, in which this dream haunts my sleep. But I waited till now to speak with ships counselor Deanna Troi about it. Deanna is my best friend and I can tell her everything but I don't want to put a strain on her with my problems. I don't know where this dream comes from nor do I know the reason for such a scenario. I just know that it has to do something with Jean-Luc.

"That is a really intensive dream and I think, just like you do, that there is something behind this all. Within this session we are going to find the reason for this dream of yours. Let us start with something easy. Beverly, this Planet you talked about, can you remember that you have ever been on it", Deanna asks me but I have to think about it first.

No, I can't remember ever having been on this planet. If there weren't as many people, who are injured and desperate, it would have been a really beautiful planet but no way in this state. But then something comes up my mind. There was something which was familiar. Those purple flowers that were everywhere, I read about them before. They only grow on one special planet; on the planet of my dream.

"I… I have never been there in person but I read about this planet before." Deanna would definitely ask more specific about this; which is probably the best. After all, I have to sort everything out with this dream. "Great, maybe you connect something with it. Can you tell me something about the situation you were in, when you first read about this planet, please?" I read about it as a child – that is all I still know. Or do I know a bit more?

I try hard to remember but it is not easy. I probably tried to forget this moment since I was a child. And suddenly, something comes up my mind. It was at the time when I lost my aunt. Before my grandma raised me, since I was four years old, I lived with her when my parents died. She handed me a book. And in this book I found the planet but I can't remember the name of it. So, when she died and I lived with my grandma I locked myself in my room and read the chapter about a heavenly planet. I imagined being on this planet and leaving my current life behind. What shall I say, I was just a four years old girl.

"Well, there is something I remember. It isn't noted in my file but before I lived with my grandma, my aunt raised me. I was four when she died and it hurt me a lot back then. I read about this planet and imagined being on it. Do your think I could connect this wonderful planet with something bad because my aunt died at this time? Within my phantasy I was very fine on this planet." To me, it doesn't make sense. Why should I dream something terrible like that about this nice planet? Probably, Deanna knows more about it. "Subconsciously, you know that something bad happened while you read about it. Probably, a bad incident, which lately happened to you, brought this memory back. The question is, did you lately experience something which took you in any kind of way, which hurt you or something in which a person you care about was involved in?"

Did something bad happen to me that took me? No, actually not. Logically, this can't be the reason for my dream. Did something hurt me? That is a good question. Indirectly, yes. At the Ba'ku home world. Was a person I care about involved in something that could have damaged him or her? Well, in a kind of way, yes. At the Ba'ku home world, too. This person was Jean-Luc. It happened during the evacuation when he went back in order to get Anij. He could have died back there. Could this be the release for my dream? It is not digressive.

"You know, Deanna. There is really something that hurt me and there is something that involves a person I care about, too." I don't want to tell more than necessary, so I just wait for Deanna to say or ask something. I can trust her, I know that. She would never tell anyone things I don't want other people to know. "If it is fine with you, could you tell me a bit more about it? What hurt you? What happened to that person? You don't have to tell me names, I don't demand that. But please respond to my questions." Deanna is an angle. She is really the best ships counselor I know. Not only because of that but also because she is my best friend I tell her what distresses me.

"You know I trust you, Dee. And of course I want you are able to do your job as well as possible. It is about Ba'ku. The person, who is involved, is Jean-Luc. It was when he went back in order to get Anij, he could have died. It was terrible for me. But what hurt me the most was his relationship with her. I wasn't able to watch them like this." I know that she now knows that I feel more for Jean-Luc than normal friendship. Since this incident it is clear to me, too. I probably won't tell him, though. That would be wrong. I will guard this little secret just to my own – better to say I hold it between Deanna and me.

"It sounds to me like this could be the release for your dream, Bev. Now a whole week is over since we have been there and you are now in the assimilation process – that is totally normal. Of course it is hard to handle this dream but I will help you with it. The more you deal with your dream the better it gets. I advise you to relax a bit. You shouldn't sleep but just relax. I propose that we meet again in two days and see where we are then. That is as long as it is alright with you. We also could continue tomorrow but I'd rather give you some time because we took a big step today." That is a really nice idea. Some rest will be good for me; Even if I don't know what I am going to do, yet. "Since we have a holiday I don't need to release you from your duties." I stand up and turn to go. But before I go I look at Deanna again. A smile lies on my lips. "Then I see you in two days, Counselor." I call her by her title and not her first name on purpose. And with that I leave her counseling office.

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**That's it for chapter 1. There are 5 chapters if you want to know what happens next, let me know! :)**


	2. Guinan gives advice

**Since you guys wanted to know how it goes on, I thought it would be best to not let you wait so long. Here's chapter 2 and I hope you enjoy it. :)  
And thanks for the nice reviews. 3**

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**Chapter 2**

I sit in my quarters, now, – on the big couch – with a cup of tea in my hand and a blanket over me. It helps, I relax a lot. I forget my dream for the moment and just let this moment take me. I don't dare closing my eyes, though. My fear to experience my dream again is too big. I rather wait for it for the night. Carefully, I take a sip of my tee and think a little bit. Why has it to be Jean-Luc? It tears me to dream such things about him. Sure, to see Worf and Data in my dream, how they probably being tortured, isn't nice, too, but seeing Jean-Luc is something else. He means a lot to me. It is exasperating. And with this I desperately put down my cup on the glass table in front of the sofa and let myself fall back. Just for a moment I close my eyes but open them again, shortly after.

I continue trying to relax but it won't work as well as I want it to. It is hopeless. I abruptly decide to drink up my tee and then to leave my quarters. Sip by sip I drink off my cup and after half an hour I'm ready to leave. I put away my cup, throw away the blanket, rise from the couch and go to the door. I take a deep breath, one more time, before finally leaving my quarters. Who knows where my legs will take me to?

Ten Forward; in the end, I arrive at Ten Forward. It is probably good that I am in here. Being alone probably wouldn't be as good to me as spending my time with someone else. Sure, Deanna said to relax myself but the best way to gain some relaxation is being here, at least to me. I sit down at the counter and wait till Guinan comes to me. There aren't many people in here. The Enterprise is still in spacedock and only a few crewmembers decided to spend their holidays on the ship. I could only be grateful for Will that he didn't want to leave the ship and so Deanna stays on board. Whatever, now Guinan comes over to me in order to take my order. I refuse, though, and thank her for asking me.

"Doctor, what brings you here, if you allow the question? Normally, you come here along with Counsellor Troi." Oh, Guinan. She always knows when something is wrong. "Well, you know, Guinan, as recently as 45 minutes ago I was with her in her office and she advised me to relax a bit. I didn't take it so long, being alone in my quarters, and now I'm here. Maybe I should return to my quarters." I am about to stand up again but she keeps me from doing so. "No, no. Please stay. I am part of a race who understands themselves as listeners. Maybe it helps you to feel better." I think she is probably right. In my body, there is an inner battle about whether to talk to her or not. Sighing, I just decide to talk to her. Guinan is the best listener you could wish for. Deanna is very competent, too, but with Guinan it is something else; Just as it is with Jean-Luc.

"Since three nights I have the same dream all over again. It is a terrible nightmare. Due to Deanna I now know that it has to do something with the events from last week and also that it is associated with my past. It is childish to think about it that much but it tears me to think about it. I will see Deanna again in two days, it probably will help, but I am afraid that this dream will haunt me again tonight." With that I end my story for now. I mean, I don't want to bother Guinan with my problem. "I just don't know what I shall do." First, I look down onto the counter but then I look back to her. Within the way she looks at me I can see what she is thinking, what she is feeling. I have no other choice than waiting for her to speak to me. A few minutes go by till she finally talks to me. "I can see your problem. The events at Ba'ku must have taken you very much, am I right?" Of course they did. How couldn't they have taken me? I do not have the heart to tell her with words so I simply nod.

"Doctor Crusher, if I may speak freely, is there a chance that the Captain is involved in this situation?" Shocked, I look at her. Is it that obvious? How else should she have noticed it? "Guinan, how do you know? Is it really that obvious?" I clearly can see a smile on her lips. So it_ is_ that obvious. "Don't worry, Doctor. I do not think the rest of the crew has noticed anything." Relieved, I ease myself again. "You know, I already spoke to Deanna but do you have any advice. There has to be something I can do; something else than simply relax a bit." Guinan probably knows something I can do. After all she had a small advice for everyone so far. "I think I can help you a little bit with that. From personal experience I know that you should absolutely talk about it. If the Captain is part of your nightmare then maybe you should talk about it with him." With him? I shall talk with Captain Jean-Luc Picard about my nightmares? If I really do that he will probably think I am totally crazy. On the other hand, what have I to lose; If it should really help me then I should grab my chance, shouldn't I?

She is possibly right. I should talk to him. Even if that would mean, taking a risk. "Guianan, you are right. It is probably the best thing to talk to him about my dream. And then in two days I will talk to Deanna again. I appreciate you very much, thank you. You should think about becoming a ships counsellor yourself", I joke and then stand up. I shortly say my goodbyes and then leave Ten Forward in order to go to my quarters first. After all, I can't just do this all without any plans. When I reach my quarters, I stop right in the middle of the room and think for a moment. "Computer, where is Captain Picard right now?" I can hear the familiar beep and shortly after that I get my answer with the familiar, evenly voice. "Captain Picard is located in his quarters right now." Perfect. He could not be at any better place, right now. One more time I look around my quarter before I leave it another time.

Slowly, I walk straight to my door. I have the option to rethink all of this, yet. Oh, what am I thinking? Of course I will not change my mind now. That is something I cannot afford. Guinan will have had something in mind while giving me this advice. She knows the Captain very well, not as well as I do, but still very well. She would never advise me to talk to him if she knew that he would react negatively to it. I nod determined, even if it is just for me, and leave my quarters one more time. I hope this conversation will not become a failure; that would not end well for me. With fast but not suspicious steps I walk along the hall till I reach the turbo lift. His quarters are one deck over mine, the way is thus short. I step into the turbo lift, hands trembling, and give the order. "Deck 7." The lift starts immediately, my hands still trembling. To task them I take the hem of my top. One could see instantly I am nervous. If one knew why I am nervous, who would blame me for being so?

Deck 7. The doors open and I step into the halls of deck 7. One last time I take a deep breath before, unlike earlier, slowly start walking. Within every step closer to these quarters it becomes harder and harder to walk. It is not like as otherwise customary when I am walking toward his quarters. Normally, I am nor nervous – well, not as nervous as in this moment – nor do I worry about the visit. But this time, it is another situation. My legs take me further, I am not consciously aware of it. Just as I stay in front of his door I am aware of going to talk with him about my dream. It is silly. I should not worry about it, he must not hear how I feel for him. My hand wanders to the button that activates the doorbell. Now, there is no point of return.

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**That's it. Did you like this one, too? Tell me whatever you think about it. Should I change something in the story? Or do you like it that way? Just let me know! :)**


	3. Shall I admit it?

**Chapter 3 as promised. Same as always, enjoy it! Guys, you're readers awesome!**

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**Chapter 3**

I stay in front of the door. Waiting seems endless to me. I probably stay in front of this door for just two minutes but because of my tension it seems endless to me. From the inside I can hear the voice which asks me to come in; familiar and normally soothing. This time it makes me cringe. The door goes open and I enter the quarters. There I see him sitting in his chair and reading. "Beverly. What a pleasure to see you. Please, sit down. Jean-Luc rises and asks me to sit down on the couch. Hesitant, I sit down on the couch. "What brings you here, Beverly?" Again, I hesitate. How shall I begin? The best bet is to take things as they come. "An hour ago, I had a session with Deanna; afterwards I went to see Guinan." When I look at him I can clearly see, that he is a little bit worried. It is touching to see that he cares about me. I only wish that it would be out of another reason than our friendship.

"Is everything all right", he now asks me what causes me to smile lightly. "It is about a dream I am now having for a few nights. I asked the two of them for advice for what I can do against it. Deanna told me to relax a bit and to talk to her again in two days. Guinan told me to talk to someone who is involved in my dream. Well, now I am here." I now look down onto my hands which still play with the hem of my top. "What was it about?" I cannot tell him what really happened. I have to change something. I do not see another outlet. "The two of us, Data and Worf are on a Planet which asked us for help. When we arrive, we are captured. I am in a dark room. A cell, I think. Then someone comes to see me. The next things I see are the heads of Worf, Data and you."

One moment, it is completely silent between us. The only thing you can hear is our heartbeats. It is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I close my eyes for just a moment and try to push these pictures out of my head. I cannot push them away completely but enough not to think about them. Only when Jean-Luc's voice reaches my ear I look up. "I can understand why it is horrible for you. It is never a good thing to lose a person you are close to." He obviously doesn't understand what is behind this story. That is good… I think; whatever. Now it is my turn to speak again. "It is unbearable. To see your heads in front of my legs and to know that it is partly my fault. That is the most unbearable thing." I look at him again. He looks at me, too. We just look into each other's eyes.

Then there is silence between us again. I know, he is not very good in talking about such things but I also know that he wants to try to help me. While watching into each other's eyes, I realize something: I won't get around telling him the truth – To tell him the truth about my dream. To tell him that I feel different for him, as he now thinks. This discovery makes me break the eye contact between us. How shall I tell him? When shall I tell him? I don't want to tell him right now. First, I should deal with my dream. But it is better to tell him sooner. Shall I get things better right, now? How will he react if I do it later? Could I prevent him from being angry with me, if I tell him right now? I guess so. I guess it will be the best to get things right, now. Why was I even that stupid to tell him not the truth right from the beginning? I am just so confused…

"You know, Jean-Luc, there is something which went a bit different as I told you. Not the three of you were killed. Only one of you was beheaded… you. And your head was directly thrown into my lap." Now it is out. It is out and I cannot take it back. Where I first though with in the doorbell there was no going back I now know that I was wrong. _Now _there is no going back. I am into it too deep that I can change anything. I just can wait for his answer and reaction. "Well, that changes the situation a bit." I wince. That is the reaction I feared the most. "No, don't get me wrong. It isn't a bad thing, but why only me? Is there something I did that makes you imagine such things?" Imagine? That would be nice. Then it would not haunt me every night. No, I dream about it. It is unbearable.

"I…" Then I break off again. What shall I say now? The truth? Or shall I better say that I do not know it either. It takes a moment but then I decide to tell him the truth. "I talked about it with Deanna. She thinks the dream's reason is that something hurt me and that a person I care about happened more specifically nearly happened something to. All that seems logical to me", I give him as an answer. "Beverly, you know you can trust me." I know exactly what he wants to say with that. I have to be more specific. I will only be able to tell him what I told Deanna earlier. "I know that. And I trust you; with all my heart. I… I don't hold back any secrets." Lie. Of course I have a secret. One, he will get to know soon enough.

"It is because of Ba'ku. It's been a week ago and together with Counselor Troi I determined that the mission is the reason for my dream." My heart starts racing. I have to keep calm. Breathe deeply in and out. Slowly, I start counting. One. Two. Three… My heartbeat regularizes again and I continue speaking. "It…. When you went back, when we were in the cave, in order to get Anij… You could have died and you know that." Part one is accomplished. So far, so good. I let him rest with my confession and give him time to handle them. I can use the time myself, too. The silence becomes uncomfortable, fast, and I begin to play with the hem of my top again. Jean-Luc probably notices that I am nervous. But maybe he is just busy with my words. Wait and see. Just wait and see.

Finally. Finally his voice breaks through this awkward silence. That is what I have been waiting for. At least he has to say something to my confession, hasn't he? Did I make a mistake by telling him? I am just too unconfident. It will all have its reason, I just have to be patient and stop worrying about things. Easier said than done… "I know that. I didn't want you to worry about me. I never thought that you would worry that much about me, Beverly. I am sorry. But I couldn't leave Anij on her own, she would have died." There it was again. Anij. She is the reason for all of this. If she had not existed, Jean-Luc would have never been in danger, would have never hurt me, I would never have had this dream and most important: I would not be sitting here being enclosed in telling him about my feelings for him. "But what hurt you? Who hurt you?" Again he worries about me, I can see it.

There is an ironic laugh that escapes my throat before answering him. "You. You hurt me." And with this it begins. All the things I went through till this moment with this god damn dream was just preparation for what will follow now. "I? How… What did I do that would have hurt you?" He really doesn't know? Hasn't he seen how I suffered under his actions? Actually I cannot blame him; I tried to hide it all. It seems I was successful. But he cannot be that unobservant, can he? I sigh and think about how I shall clarify him. What have I left to lose? Nothing. "Anij. That's what you did. Do I really have to explain you what hurt me that much?" – "Beverly, I don't understand…" But I do not give him time to continue talking. "Damn it, Jean-Luc. You hurt me because you started a relationship with this woman!" I grow angrier.

"Damn it, Jean-Luc", I repeat. "Do you really do not see it?" Silence. Nothing but silence. But then I do not hold it back anymore and become a bit louder. "I love you, Jean-Luc." And finally it is out.

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**That's it. There are only 2 more chapters till the end of the story. I hope you'll like it since it took me some time to write it down. By the way, if you like my stories and want me to write something for you, just let me know.  
Till then, R&amp;R. 3**


	4. Happy in the end

**Since you wanted it now, here it is. This is actual ending for my story 'Bad Dreams.'. There will be one more chapter - a very (!) short one - which will be an epiloge. As always I hope you like this one, too. :) And a special thanks to Lindsay!  
**

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**Chapter 4**

_"__Damn it, Jean-Luc", I repeat. "Do you really do not see it?" Silence. Nothing but silence. But then I do not hold it back anymore and become a bit louder. "I love you, Jean-Luc." And finally it is out._

Damn it. Now I cannot take it back anymore. It is out and I probably ruined our friendship and embarrassed myself, too. I probably should be going right now but I cannot get it over myself to stand up and just leave him back on his own. That would only ruin everything permanently. I lean back, close my eyes and wait. Again I am waiting. It is exasperating. How do I always manage to blow up things that are important to me? I never wanted to ruin the relationship I cherish to Jean-Luc in any kind of way. No, I really do not want this. Why isn't he saying something? Please, he just has to say something so that I am not a complete fool. My hands start shivering again. I encompass the hem between my hands tightly in order to subdue the shivering. Sadly it does not work like I want it to.

"I… I should not have said that. You do not have to say something relating to this. You simply wanted me to tell you the reason and I just got angry and then it simpl-" I do not get any further because he stops me by putting one of his fingers onto my mouth. Of course I become silent immediately. What is he going to say? How will he react? What will he do? So many questions go around my head but I do not know the answer for any of these questions. My full concentration is now with him. For at least one long minute he has his finger on my lips without saying even one word. Never before a minute seemed so long to me like it does in this moment. But there is a first time for everything, isn't it? "Beverly? Be quiet for a moment!" He takes his finger off of my lips. A soft coolness goes over them.

"I never wanted to hurt you. You know I would never hurt you on purpose." That is true. In these 25 years we now know each other he never, _never_, hurt me on purpose. "I am sorry that I hurt you Ba'ku. I had no clue that you feel for me that way." Why can't he just say if he feels the same about me? Does he really have to keep me on tenterhooks? If he talks all the time just to tell me, in the end, he does not love me, he better says it now. I would not be able to bear it. "You are my closest confident, always has been and always will be. You can tell me everything, no matter what it is. I will always be there for you." Please, just say it. Just say you do not love me. "Jean-Luc…" I do not say any more. I do not have to. He understands me. He always does.

"I can trust you with everything and can talk about everything with you. You are there for me, if I need your advice. But what I really want to tell you is", Now it is time. Now I will finally get to know how it will go on. I still look at him, my hands still at the hem of my top. "Beverly, I love you. Always have. When we first met, when you were with Jack, when you two married." My eyes grow wider. Full of excitement I look at him. Did he really just tell me he feels the same about me as I do about him? That can impossibly be real. I expected everything. That he shouts at me, laughs at me, just tells me he does not love me. But I never reckon without him feeling the same about me.

My mouth opens up a bit but no words come out of it. They are sticking in my throat, closing it, making it impossible for me to say something. I notice some tears streaming down my face. His hand rises as he leans forward and wipes away my tears. I close my eyes for a moment, trying to order my thoughts. When I open up my eyes again I notice him still looking at me. "I just didn't expect this answer." I laugh a bit and look straight into is eyes again. The he takes my hand and softly brushes his thumb over the back of it. For a long time now I longed for such a touch that did not need an excuse.

Happily, I enjoy this moment; take it in in its full abundance. Jean-Luc Picard loves me; has always loved me. I could not be any happier. Slowly, I lean forward, get closer to his face and stop a few inches in front of his face. I look deeply into his eyes and can clearly see his love for me. Then I dare it. I lay my lips softly onto his and kiss him. It is a soft and reserved kiss. We kissed before but it always was at a level of friendship. This time it is different. I kiss him as my beloved. My hands go behind his head and pull him closer to me. His hands find my waist and pull me closer, too. He stands up and sits down next to me on the couch. We sit there like two teenagers in love. Anyways, it does not bother me. And it seems like it does not bother him, too. We both waited too long for this moment to bother.

After what seems like an endless while we part again and look into each other's eyes. A soft laugh escapes my throat. "Don't you dare starting a relationship with anyone else ever again. Last week I nearly ripped off Anij head because of your relationship", I joke. Whereby… Actually it is true. I hated her! I hated her because she had Jean-Luc's full attention and I had not. Now, whereas I have him, all the hate I have for Anij disappears. There is no reason anymore. "Ma chérie, I have no reason to do that." He smiles at me softly and puts his hand onto my cheek just to brush over it tenderly. I lean into his touch, closing my eyes for a moment and saying only one word. "Good". Only now, where the uncertainty is wiped away my shoulders, I notice how exhaust I am. After all I am short of sleep within the last few days. I yawn slightly which does not avoid him. "You should rest a bit, mon Coeur." I just nod as an answer.

Then he rises and pulls me onto my feet. He leads me into the bedroom and brings me to his bed. I notice fast how the warmth enwraps me and I drift into sleep. He lies next to me on the other side and loops his arm around my waist. I know he will not sleep but the feeling to have him next to me is wonderful. I feel secure. Slowly, I close my eyes before drifting into sleep completely.

When I wake up later the evening and turn around, I see Jean-Luc still lying next to me. A soft smile comes across my lips. "Did you sleep well", I hear his soft voice. I never slept any better, never in my life. "Yes, wonderful!" "I suppose the nightmare doesn't haunt you anymore?" My smile gets bigger. No, finally he is gone. Finally, I can sleep well again. But the best of the situation: I can wake up next to the man I love with all my heart. I snuggle closer into Jean-Luc. "With you there will be no more nightmares." I close my eyes and enjoy the moment. As long as Jean-Luc Picard is by my side I will never have a nightmare again. Never again.

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**The end. Well, not like that because there will be one more chapter but you know, the end till then! It was really nice to write it and especially to read your nice comments. Maybe some (or all?) of you will read the upcoming epiloge which I will post tomorrow - or maybe later this day if you really can't wait that long.  
Just let me know. R&amp;R. :)**


	5. Epiloge

**Epilog**

~ Two days later ~

No more nightmares. Never again. Deanna would probably have been able to help me without me talking to Jean-Luc but it would not have been half as nice. First I had doubts but in the end it was the right thing. I am walking along the halls of the ship and go to see the office of Deanna Troi. Within a few minutes I have my second session with her – and also my last one; After all my nightmares are not terrible anymore. Quite the opposite, they could not be any better.

I activate the button and wait for Deanna to ask me to come in. As this happens I walk into the office and sit down on the couch immediately. I know, Deanna must have already noticed that something is different. She can sense it. "Hello Beverly. As I can see, you are much better now?" A smile sneaks onto my lips. And how much better I am! "I am feelingfantastic, the dream is finally gone. I tried to relax but it didn't work. Then I talked to Guinan and she told me to talk to Jean-Luc. Oh Deanna, it was the best decision of my life!" I cannot get out of my enthusiasm and she senses it. "I guess it all went out well?"

"I could not be any happier with him", I give her as an answer. She understands immediately and is delighted for me. I can see it in her look; she has not to speak it out loud. I should have talked much earlier to him, I now know it. But as they say, better late than never!

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**Now, it's over. It's all done, no more chapters. Did you like what I came up with? Guys, you're awesome. Special thanks to all who read it till the end (Lindsay!) and all the others, too.  
**


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